Rather than ask Half tends to manipulate me into position. Which is annoying, but I suppose well-deserved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without adequate incentive I tend to \u2026 perch. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Feeling no real need to go anywhere. Everything necessary and right and good is between these four walls. If Half chooses to explore the great outdoors \u2013 have@, be right here \u2018til you get back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not a big fan of the world, too peopley [stole that thankwho<\/em>] but sitting in the house and staring at screens and buying crap with a click is not a viable solution either, so \u2026 what. Ooo. A blllaaawwwggg<\/em>. Right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m helping people. That I don\u2019t have to meet. I like that. That fits me. So \u2026 away we go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where was I\u2014Half. Best thing ever happened to me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And the worst. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A very cold truth: I should have stayed single and not \u2026 inflicted myself on a much better person. Should have avoided the whole spouse+offspring until I resolved my relationship with money. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shoulda, coulda, woulda \u2026 didn\u2019t, won\u2019t, can\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Problem is\u2014I didn\u2019t know I had a problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew I had debt. Had debt since I was 18, beginning in\/with college. Had the credit card panoply (V\/MC\/AE x2? x3?) and was racking it up with a spring in my heart and a song in my step. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents gifted a car for yay!BA! so no debt there (yet), graduated with school debt, got a job, got some more debt, free car died so got a car with debt, was renting, so no debt there, but making the payments on all the debt so \u2026 what. Living the dream. Debt is life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Moving along, greeted Half, and when we cleave I\u2019m riding about $30K total, thought no big deal because working a $80K job. So \u2026 what. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Isn\u2019t this how it is supposed to work? Money comes in (earned\/income) and then money goes out (expenses\/outgo). I get that. So \u2026 what? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Seems the problem may stem from the fact that the money that goes out must at least match that which comes in, but see, I don\u2019t have to do that because, you know, debt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I live very comfortably outside means (work+money+debt) for an extended period of time until, finally, inevitably, the outgo exceeds the income, large amounts have to paid back within smaller time periods, most of it gets paid off or substantially down, and then begins all over again.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I never ever got before (oh I got it now! squint\/lipsnarl<\/em><\/strong>) was that the income earned today is not for today but for the future; that is, present money \u2013 money in hand \u2013 is not intended for present use. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Debt means you\u2019re in hock to future you, paying money today on crap from two (ten?) years ago you likely don\u2019t use\/like\/want\/need\/can find\/etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You are standing on a road. Behind you is the path you have already made for yourself. You made that path with your money \u2013 money earned, money gifted, money borrowed, money stolen \u2013 and your money will make the path in front of you. The more money you can get, the wider, faster and smoother the path will be made before you. Your ability to move forward depends on your ability to get money; if access to money is limited, restricted, or cut off, moving forward becomes difficult if not impossible, and the world will let you rot on the road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I get it. Gotta spend today\u2019s money \u2013 money in hand \u2013 with an eye on the future \u2026 to building the road \u2026 to avoid paying for your past with money earned in the present. Your food and housing should already be paid for, that path should already be laid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And I should have rotted on that road a long time ago but Half has propped me up for years \u2026 until Half finally threw up Half\u2019s hands and said, \u201cDone.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, over the last year(s?), Half has gotten increasingly shrill when it comes to dealing with me and money, so much so that \u2013 while we\u2019re legally<\/em> financially bound I need to get my tish together because Half has had enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So \u2026 oops. Welcome to Adulting 101.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Totally fair, totally justified, totally too long in coming, so \u2026 yeh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gotta recognize that money is more important to Half may be more so than me \u2013 which actually makes sense. If the marriage dies the bills live on, so to speak. And I\u2019m the other half. So \u2026 yeh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But y\u2019know \u2026 \u2018til death. Both latchkey products of multi-state divorce, neither one of us believes in it (altho\u2019 Half\u2019s wanderings&wonderings do cause me ponder) and we have a pretty good, fairly awesome marriage (aside from me and Half more than makes for that) so I am a lucky, lucky, blessed, fortunate me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Therefore, due to, because of, here we have motivation #1 to get the money marriage right \u2013 Half.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Please note: I fully acknowledge the following \u2013 Half is waaay<\/em> better than deserve. A fabulous person, a better parent, a greater individual, in every way. [Funny haha \u2013 GOD! set us up. Great story; excellent blogfood to come \u2026 ] Where\u2014yes. Half is a much better person than I deserve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Nevertheless! I will complain vehemently about Half. I will marginalize Half. I will resent that Half is right about \u2026 whatever, because I am a horrible person. I fully acknowledge that as well. However, I actually enjoy being a horrible person; briefly, as stated above, the world is too peopley, and my dislike for other humans has been complemented beauuutifully<\/em> by the pandemic. To quote Dave Chappelle: \u201cThank GOD! for Covid.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n However, I am attempting to be a better person because theKid asked. More on that too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A la a blaaawwwggg<\/em> (I\u2019ll stop that at some point, but not yet I\u2019m still feeling derisive) and putting a tiny, dissected piece of myself out in the intersphere internet places EVERYWHERE FOREVER WITH ELECTRICITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<\/em> along with my first world problems (*altho\u2019 after the 6th<\/sup>, isn\u2019t the US officially a banana republic? but their cashmere is FIRE<\/em> digress) to try to fix me (no I will not \u201cdo\u201d therapy because that involves another person are you not listening) so I can be and present a better, improved version, put in the effort to use my powers of evil for good. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not a bad person, just a horrible one, but I would like to help. And sometimes I\u2019m smart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I simply do not believe that I am the only person who doesn\u2019t get Dave Ramsey or Suzie Ormond or any of the other standard financial guru advice. I mean, I get it, but I don\u2019t. So, I don\u2019t. But I do. But again, money ain\u2019t math. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Am I addicted to spending? Ha! Nope. Bored. And the money is just sitting there, every day, doing nothing. What else is it supposed to do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pay for the future. So \u2026 hmmm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Rather than ask Half tends to manipulate me into position. Which is annoying, but I suppose well-deserved. Without adequate incentive I tend to \u2026 perch. Feeling no real need to go anywhere. Everything necessary and right and good is between these four walls. If Half chooses to explore the great outdoors \u2013 have@, be right … <\/p>\n