Half used to cook but between work travel and a general, unspecified anxiety about the palatability of the final product, the task of food has fallen essentially to me. 

Care not do I.  I have to eat anyway so I just get extra for Half and theKid.

Problem?  Using the hands of others to feed oneselves and related persons is expensive … like, $1,000/month on food expensive.

Ha!No.

Food is fuel.  Applebee’s and Olive Garden use the same cheese sauce, so there (actually I don’t know that’s my ass talking) and my phood philosophy is simple:  if it tastes good, great … if not, did you die?

So!  Time to readjust. 

Although there are several ways to prepare the foods necessary to feed oneselves and related persons, the basics are thus:  either your hands do it, or you pay some other hands to do it for you.

Problem #1?  Take Out (extra $$$ = other hands put food in boxes)

Problem #2:  Dine In (extra $$$ = other hands put food on plates, later in boxes)

Problem #3:  Delivery (extra $$$ = see prob#1)

Solution?  Stop being a lazy slob and feed yourself.

Ugh.  Like, everyday?