I was feeling optimistic.  I see now what a mistake that was.

With each conversation, I gain a greater understanding that I am not what Half wants. 

Half is a talker.  Likes to talk.  Needs to talk. 

I, however, am not.  I talk to myself.  And to God.  Jesus is a great listener {Matt. 11:30}

And I’ve always been fairly self-sufficient.  Not so good with money but always made more, so not that much of a deal, and never had a real strong need for people.

Not so with Half.  Half … is a people person, a person of people.  An extrovert’s loud neighbor.

Prior to the legalized union of finances and misery, in the thick midst of singledom I once took time off work to spend five solid days in my apartment.  Didn’t even go outside to move my car.  So nice.

I’ve heard it said that opposites attack.  Heh.  I like that.

Too bad, tho’ … was hoping to spare theKid the burden of the broken home, but feeling some movement in that general direction these days. 

Reason #870,564 not to have children:  Everything wrong with them is 100% your fault.  The arrogance … the ego … of thinking one is qualified to actually raise another human to adulthood. 

Just ‘cuz you can don’t mean you should.

Do it not for you; do it not for them.

Maybe one of us will die first, avoid that type of unpleasantness, just wear the badge of the dead spouse with honor. 

Suicide doesn’t count, tho’, and we’ll each be the first suspect if the other dies under … suspicious circumstances. 

Not sure what to do, except pray on it.  Funnily enough (but not truly really) I always get an answer.  Might not be the one I was expecting/hoping/thinking, but it’s an answer. 

And funnily enough (GOD is awesome) it’s always the right/goodest/best one.

Maybe just need to be still. And listen.