Yah tasty, but not like that.
I may (or not) have mentioned that I’m fat, and not in a good way. Bloated and swole, I believed I may (or not) have called it.
I/me/we am/are/is holding me/myself/I accountable to my bloated and swoleness, mainly because Half is so shrill, and also because the bod didn’t always look like this.
I used to be considered somewhat objectively attractive. Now? Just married and fat. So let’s begin!
Found a fasting diet that works — 5:2, look it up. Somewhat painful but thus far effective.
And exercise. Mountain climbing in the house, very trendy. And some outside fitness, about (optimistically) four times a week.
Again, diet and exercise, and a shape other than round is highly achievable
(here’s looking at you, Lizzo, Yumi, that fat woman doing yoga in all the fitness commercials (why) … if Rebel Wilson can do it [although … should have she? Now her smile looks too big for her face] anyone can.)
Body positivity is just another rationalization to stay fat … so there. And nobody in South Sudan seems to have a glandular problem. And there’s that.
Forgot/digress … for one of the meals in the 2 of the 5:2, eat this!
Avocado Salad with Pan-Seared Shrimp
5-6 prawns / jumbo shrimp (oxy … moh’ron?), cleaned and deveined (all the veins)
Half med/large avocado, chopped into chunks
One cup of cherry tomatoes
(prefer baby heirlooms, but I’m fancy), cut into halves then fourths
½ medium red onion, sliced thin(ly?)
Two cloves garlic, chopped/sliced/minced/whatever, make ‘em small
One tbsp + another tbsp olive oil
One tbsp balsamic vinaigrette
Sea salt / black pepper to taste
Put chopped avocados, cut tomatoes, butchered onions, and hacked garlic (it’s a veggie slaughter!) into a medium-sized bowl, add first tbsp olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette, sea salt and pepper, mix mix mix … set aside.
Take a medium skillet, heat over med-high heat, add 2nd tbsp of olive oil, some sea salt and pepper. Place prawn/shrimp (ocean roaches {Lev. 11:10} – yum!) in pan, sear until opaque (wat – flesh looks white [that’s raysis!]) then remove from heat, let cool slightly (or not), add to veggie slaughter. Put the whole mix into a nicer bowl, grab a fork, feed the face.
You’re welcome.