The Fair Issac Corporation has helpfully offered to accumulate everyone’s personal spending data and then rate you on how you debt (i.e., “creditworthiness” … are you worthy?  I thought not).  Based on my in-depth research of FICO scores, and the analytical synergies of the dynamic interface, I discovered that this, too, is some nonsense.

I don’t even know my FICO score – it goes up, it goes down.  Here monkey, play with something else. 

Apparently, to determine if you are a “worthy” a human being (or just another wasteful skinsuit / Hi! That’s! Me!) FICO considers five areas of info:

1.   Payment history
(did you ever actually pay for that, or did you just feed your monkey?)
2. Total indebtedness
(how big is your monkey?)
3. Credit type
(which monkeys to you have? e.g., mortgage, credit card, car loan, etc.)
4.  Credit history
(how long have you had your monkey?), and
5.  New accounts
(did you just feed your monkey again?)

Overall, FICO scores range from 300 aaahhhlll the way to 850, with the middling-good spectrum from about 680 to 750 range … here’s where you get your “good credit.”  Which means you can get more debt. 

Yeh right no

I find it refreshing and affirming that the FICO score is just three little digits, the number of a man, heh-heh, that no man may buy or sell except one who has the mark … or the name … or the number {Rev. 13:17-18} heh-heh.  Nope, don’t feel bad at all. 

Matter of fact, the truth is that no one needs to concern themselves with a FICO unless they’re trying to get debt.  And this FICO is manipulated by the passage of time and creditor errors/omissions and letters with wizard words that make debts magically disappear.  Break.  Give me. 

Such nonsense.  Ignore the FICO.  Satisfy the debts.  Don’t feed the monkey so much. 

FICO solved.