OK so may have made been mistaken (again, working on my Guiness record) and corrupted my delusion. 

Bubble.  Burst? 

Fantasy.  Dispelled?

Well, pooh.

Watched a highly HIGHLY critical video of the Nic factor in the VanCarStan, whereby wherein towit described him as a “fratbro newbie-nurse between homes with limited wardrobe” and thus made the questionable decision to actually watch each and every painful S7 episode of this horrid, horrid program, to discover p’rhaps, just how wrong may be.

Reality tv is truly the nadir of civilization.  Is that the smell of smoke?  Somebody find a violin.  Or was it a fiddle?

So … first night.  Ola Fine SOOOOOOPPPPRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEM kissed both the mushroom and the excellence that is theVans – Clark Kent w/contacts (sonohomo) – and, admittedly, he never mentioned a single thing about Ola Fine SOOOOOOPPPPRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEM during his first interview, said he was hoping for the DevonDoppleganger to kiss him sooner rather than later, and that night saw some serious night vision cuddle action.  DameDash and the Van actually look really good together.

Hmmm.

BUT but … the next day, while playing ping pong with the slick gnome, during the interview theVans did say with that first night kiss Ola Fine SOOOOOOPPPPRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEM definitely interested him BUT but could that have been simply because DameDash was too prude?

Hmmm. 

And theVans hates peanut butter.  How could he.  PB is a nearly perfect food.  Just needs bacon.

And why is Austin like an odder yet studder, worse-voiced version of Nicholas Cage? 
How unfortunate for him.  And Chelley was nice enough, even after he tried to eat her face.

“What kainna fish dem is?”  Really, Olandria?  C’mon now, represent.  HBCU, right? 
Da sowf allup’n yo mowf. 

Actually like Jeremiah and Huda.  Like, those two are seriously entertaining.  Vibing on cruise.

And why oh why does theVans look like he just got in trouble with his mother right before the blindfold challenge?  Hunched over and suspicious.  Total sneak.

Hmmm. 

Welp, already know what happened there.  Strangely underwhelming in real time. 
Afterwards, still looked like a sneak.

Now that was surprising.  And why is the slick gnome in such high demand?  Ola Fine, BasicBaddie and RanaCaliente.  Maybe he’s a stud in real time.  Or not.  Still slick.

Irony?  Upon entry 404 said from her own mouth, If I can take your man, he was never your man in the first place.  So why u mad?

“Does that mean I’m your dream girl?”

“Mmmm.”

SororitySaoirse must have told the producers no lip action.  How very dull.  Why is she here?
No wonder theVans chose the 404 and to his credit, he did call her a 10/10 kisser, with no idea who she was.

Yulissa gives off some serious Samantha Ramsdell vibes.  Bish begone.