To hijack the GenAlpha slang of theKid … never been much of a starglazer. 
Celebs are people too.

Once stood in line for a few hours to get the autograph of a former prez – who signed with his left hand and shook with his right all while maintaining that discount superstore charm and Gomer smile – which was an interesting experience, to say the least. 

Charisma oozed like high fructose corn syrup. 

And even then, not overly impressed.  Famous person, and physical proximity clarified reason for fame. Still, nothing really stuck.  To date: don’t even know where my autographed copy is.

Hate to be that person but goan haf to be that person.  

Backstory:  about, oh, back in the Triassic period, watched a show called “Temptation Island.” 
Horrid, on all the levels, made sure to tune in every week.

Couples were thrown together to see who would cheat, and with whom there would be cheating, and how the cheating would be initiated, cultivated and revealed. 

Yah, and this was before Tinder.

So anyhoo, one of the … challenges? … was the women had to vote and choose the one woman most of the guys would cheat with and boot her off the show, and the dudes had to do the same, but with dudes.

Healthy human relations, at peak.  True dumpster fire.  Never missed an episode. 

On to now … admittedly, did not know what a “Love Island” was, did not realize it was in its umpteenth season, and that there were versions taking place being filmed in other places. 

But.

Fell into a rabbit hole, and currently loving how deep, warm, and cheesy it truly is.

The Tubes of You has been a veritable font of clips, clicks and updates, and methinksme simply cannot get enough.

I am … a Van.Car.Stan.

Nic VanSexyBurger and Olandria GorgeSupreeeeeeMuh hiveminded other half right into a parasocial eye-addicted cult of epic NYFW proportions, and still want more.

Love them.  Like.  Love them.  Giuseppe for the WIN

Might all be nonsense.  Might be branding and “maximizing consumer engagement” and a total farcical gotcha for the desperate impressionables … but day-yum, they look good together.

And meheart truly, truly, hopes it is real.  

Didn’t see Charles and Diana tie the knot.

Never looked up wedding footage of the JayBeyZ.

Was not even remotely curious re the Biebs getting hitched to the Baldwin.

And completely un/disinterested in watching the Kelce and Tay-tay broadcast their nuptials via livestream.

But holey sommoleys guaranteed to set an alarm, take off work, and glue to tube witnessing Ola Fine walking down the aisle looking glorious in white with the Big Belgian waiting for her at the altar … and shortly thereafter a pic of him on bended knee kissing her choclanated nine-month baby bump. 

Need five babies in four years.  Make it happen. 

Oh yes.  Need that.  Want that.  All that.  Here for it.

And why? 

Good elfin question.  Dunno. 

Don’t know these people.

But love these people. 

He is a genuinely handsome guy (nohomo) – Clark Kent with contacts – and her beauty is downright Biblical … giving off some serious Bathsheba vibes {2 Samuel 11:2} That is one glorious woman.  Srslytho’

And he (looks like he) loves her right out loud.  Every day, often, and deep. 

Even sucked her toes in full view of the world. 

Even licked his lips afterwards while sitting next to a-noh-thah girl. 

Now that is a man with aff(lic/ec)tion. 

Feeling so like the aged not-so-exotic dancer said to the strip-show simp:  “Moar!Moar!Moar!”
Off to binge on crumbs …