Another YouTuber suggested that being honest, open, and transparent with the audience is one of the major keys to success in blogging, so here’s a little about me don’t look at that OK enough of this on with the show!

Suffice it to say that I am in a state of debt and would very much like to relocate.

One reveal, tho’ – I’m unapologetically Christian.  Total Jesus-jumping, Bible-thumping, Christ-crunked, non-denominational evangelical who wants everyone to join the winning team (yaaay—JESUS!) but with that in mind I do recognize that the path to GOD! for every person is individual, and each must journey alone. 

Regardless of wife, brother, friend, only GOD! knows a person’s heart, and trying to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes just makes your feet hurt.  Better to just let go with GOD!

Also, please recognize that this conversation would occur regardless of whether someone else was listening in, so when you read “you” I am not talking to the “you” you, but to the “me” of “you” … yes I am talking to myself.  So please, don’t take offense.  Or if you do, be sure to take it with you when you leave (ba-dum-bump).

Slight disgression:  my family thinks I’m crazy, and I don’t have any friends.  Not that I want any.  Over the years I have found too many people to be unnecessarily cruel, and I simply cannot understand the concept of “frenemy.” 

So rather than talk to other people I talk to myself.  Out loud, and with dialogue.  I verbally respond to questions I have posed to myself … said questions were, of course, audible and with inflection. 

Half occasionally will stroll into a room in the midst of a conversation and inquire as to whom am I speaking. Depending on the nature of the discussion I may reply, “Myself” or “The audience” or sometimes “Don’t you see them?!” to which Half invariably turns and walks away, pondering those pesky life choices. 

Over the years Half has stopped trying to understand, and now merely wanders away & wonders.

Also, I listen to the voices in my head.  Although GOD! doesn’t technically “talk” to me directly, He sorta lets me in on the plan … kinda … in a way … almost, but … not quite exactly – although somewhat – … but not really. 

Basically, GOD! will show me the path and let me choose if I want to walk it.

And because I am hard-headed and stubborn and self-willed … foolish, actually … I need to go wandering in the weeds for good little while until I am tired and hungry and scared and then GOD! asks me if I am ready to get with the program.  Which, of course, is waaayyy better than anything I had conjured up and look there!  Worked out great!  If only I wasn’t such a snot. 

Oh yeh I lied.  I do have one friend, from way back, most bestest, decentest, goodest person I have had the blessing and fortune of acquaintance.  Of course I was a shis when we were younger, treated GoodPeople like crap, but GoodPeople stuck with & has truly been a pillar of my life for decades, mucho feliz gordo for that. 

Few ground rules for this section of intersphere … (that’s mine, BTW … or at least, I think it is … nothing new under the sun, eh?  [Ecclesiastes 1:9]) …

First: be nice because that’s free, and nastiness always costs somebody something. 

Second: if you’re looking for financial advice this is not the place.  I am working this shis out on a day2day basis like the rest of humanity … but you are welcome to ride.  Major brake noise, steering’s a little loose and the passenger seat is a milkcrate (and why was not the duck sheared off upon impact?  Hmmm?) but I can guarantee it will go fast. 

Ooo … Comic Sans … yesssexy, will appear on occasion. 

Third: if asked I’ll offer my opinion or the truth or telya nunya but I’m no expert at anything but being me and I’m trying to get better at that.

I finally understood that money ain’t math because I finally recognized that 100% of who/what/where I am / you are / we be, right now, is 100% of who/what/where … was.  Money is a mistake I made when I was younger that I am still trying to fix.  Beautiful thing is – since I ain’t yet dead I maybe got time to get this right. 

Budgeting, consolidation loans, snowball approach … none of that stuff works for me because – for me – money is not numbers, money is not an Excel spreadsheet, money is not computations, but – again, for me – money is perspective, attitude, and approach. 

The typical import of money is lacking for me … I have no plans to retire, not interested in travel and already own a house (can thank Half for that!).  Money comes, and then it goes, and then more comes.  No need to get so attached.

That what money is: you never have enough for what you want, so use it for what you can get.  Why save the money you can spend, when the money you have will be replaced with more?

Half ascribes to the belief:  save a little, spend a little, shelter a little for a rainy day. 

No. 

Why? 

Because there is always more.

And besides I like the rain.  I like standing in the rain and getting soaked and having my feet chilled in wet shoes.  I like that.  I like to shiver in a cold bed with frost between the sheets until it warms with my body heat.  I like sleeping in a room with icicles on the inside of the sill.  That’s some serious rest right there, your body working so hard not to freeze the brain cannot remain conscious.  Nice. 

• Digress.

So, again, gotta fix that money relationship before leaving that debt liestyle (yeh I seddit) behind can become a thing. 

And I suppose this blllaaawwwggg is my relationship counseling, my couples therapy, my last, desperate intervention, my reason to work through all these unresolved issues with money that continue to define my life … not because I don’t like debt or necessarily even want to get out of debt, but because living in debt is no simply longer workable, and it’s time to walk a better path. 

So, my desire here is twofold:  first, and easily most important, Half and theKid deserve better (more on that later), and two, I feel a seething resentment at my situation because now I see it clearly (oh this is gonna be good …) 

The whole system is a sham.  Entire thing, a set-up from start to finish. Unless money understanding came early, such as taught in the home or embedded in the wiring of a unique brain, knowledge of the function of money is left for the unwary and the unwitting to work out. Or not.

Yes, money in modern life is a trick, and since I am in debt, I have fallen for it.  Hard. 

Now, however, it’s time to get up.