Half works for money to put money to work. Wat genius
Half doesn’t like Half’s debt monkey. Half actually refused a debt monkey, still worked job and got stuff, and then was punished for it.
See, part of the Credit Circus participation requirement is that if one initially refuses to perform in the Credit Circus, then later seeks to adopt one’s own debt monkey for a personal performance, the only debt monkey the Credit Circus will allow one to adopt will be a baby chimp abandoned by its mother, starved and blind.
But as long as it is fed consistently, that little monkey will be just fine.
So, point! and back to Half has job and Half makes “money” from job and Half takes “money” and puts in Bank … and leaves it there for long, long time periods of time. Then (before Half adopted a debt monkey) Half would go to Bank and tell Bank to “loan” Half the “money” in Half’s Bank account and Half would take Bank’s “loan” / “money” and go play while Half’s “money” sat growing in Bank.
wat
Yeh
Then Half would “pay the debt represented by the loan” every month at some stupid low “in-ter-est rate” (rate of in-trist? as in, bumping the ug? are we all screwed? ahHA!) and continue to grow / build / increase above-said chunk of “money” and get whatever stuff Half wanted. And if Half failed to return Bank’s “money” as promised, Bank could take Half’s chunk of “money” as “co-lat-ter-al” (coladderall? sounds like a drugAREWEONTOSOMETHINGpree-HAPS)
See?
BUT! And here’s the trick. Apparently, the Credit Circus does magic, too …
Half didn’t have a debt monkey.
How not?
Monthly payment due, with interest? On a loan? Confused I am? And if Half failed to repay, ding yes?
This is debt.
No. This is … something else, beeeccccaaauuuzzzz Half did not have a “credit history” with that approach to stuff.
See, Half applied for a credit card … just a little debt monkey … after making that oh!no!so fatal mistake w/the whole “I do” fiasco and got rejected … shut down … denied “credit” … due to “lack of established credit history’ … nope, can’t have a real act in the Credit Circus unless and until you adopt a real debt monkey … a primate with burden, and a little dread attached.
Yeh borrowing in such a way to stay OUT of debt means cannot even get in a little debt. Which is probably a good thing. Except for houses. And starting a business. And getting an education. And buying a car. EVERYTHING SHOULD BE FREEEEE! Well no ‘cuz then who decides who gets what? We see how that works out moving on
So Half wound up getting a little anemic pygmy marmoset (DON’T PET THEM / THEY HATE US) for about two years then applied again and OH LOOK AT THAT A FIVE-FIGURE CREDIT CARD LIMIT (ten if you count the decimal point, comma, and dollar sign-ha!)
Sssooohhh … from three to five? Or seven to ten? Sounds like a prison sentence … Oh. My. Heavens. We.Are.On.To.Something
So! Point being, it’s a trick. The extent of one’s ability to perform in the Credit Circus is directly related to one’s prior performance … and if one refuses to perform, one shall not.
But! Half has tricks for them too …
Problem is – me! Well, us. We are cleaved, as it were. {Gen. 2:24}
But this blog is getting better.