There’s a YouTube channel – debtmonkeytv – truly hateful viewing (even for me) with plenty of English distain and lots of cockney mocking — “Hi I’m Ben and I’m the Debt Monkey!” (so happy) … BTW don’t bother; life is short enough as it is, no need to waste it on that—and I’m 97% sure it’s supposed to be meta-reality a la “the Office” … I guess everything is meta at this point so safer to assume the worst …
So … debtmonkeytv. UnReality television continues its inevitable hellish descent … people compete to be the “debt monkey” and have all of their debts paid off, need only humiliate oneself on an episodic basis for the entertainment of others, with gems such as “even Grumpy Monkey gets hungry, and now eats from the Debt monkey menu …” Yum. Sign. Me. Up!
This is not that.
One of the biggest obstacles to coming clean about debt is the unwanted judgment that accompanies disclosure. Money is usually a tender spot – whether you have it, need it, or just want more – and mismanagement of funds or financial ignorance or spending indifference is viewed with the same sneer as a public fart.
I don’t believe that moderately intelligent adults move into a state of debt – that is, adopt a debt monkey – with a truly realistic comprehension of the overall impact. Again: money ain’t math, and over time a mindset emerges that, if the account is open and payments are made, maintenance of the debt is management of the debt, which simply is not true.
Maintaining your debt = timely payments applied to the total amount due
Managing your debt = timely payments applied to reduce the total amount due
There’s a verb there, and it makes all difference SEE WHAT I DID THERE “DIFFERENCE?!?!” CUZ SUBTRACTION GEDDIT “DIFFERENCE” … “SUBTRACTION” … no? Just me? [crickets] OK moving on
So, one of the many steps to getting my debt monkey some training was finally getting the understanding that money ain’t math—
Money = mindset [Prov. 27:23-24]
—and I have to shift my brain gear re money and spending from “it’s fine, whatever” to “do I really need to spend that amount for this thing … right now?”
Budgets don’t work — for me, anyway — because a budget is a restriction on my money and I work for my money to spend my money so give me my money so I can get the thing I want with my money because otherwise what is the point?
Oh, yeh, no debt/no stress/no monkey/no poo … but more importantly, Money Marriage Motivation #1 and Money Marriage Motivation #2.
So – again, for me – the discord in my money marriage is not the absence of a budget (because I wouldn’t stick to one anyway … sorry NOT) but a lack of focus.
If I didn’t need to eat, or live anywhere, or wear clothes, or be around other people, I would probably spend a lot less. As it is, debt is life (see above) and inattentive spending is how debt becomes just another cost of being alive.
I tend to spend (whether via cash in hand or by feeding the monkey) to get the thing I want/need without any attention to the actual details of the purchase … Food? Check. New shoes? Check. Thing Half asked for? Check. “Would you like a receipt Nah don’t need to know what I spent”/ Check. Shiny thing to keep theKid momentarily distracted? Check. Gizmo broke–fixed it/Check. Doohickey failed–got another/Check.
The older I get the more I realize the less time life allows for introspection.
That’s probably a good thing … otherwise I’d spent my days rethinking everything I ever did wrong.
Hah! As if I needed another reason to procrastinate.
To recap:
My money marriage is in shambles.
My union to Half is fractured.
My parental example to theKid—thus far—has been immature and irresponsible, aaand …
My debt monkey is a gorilla of foolishness quarter million strong.
Well at least I ain’t dead yet … and I have great insurance!