A 100-year-old scientist spent the last 80 years of his life trying to create … well, life … without God, so much so that man(kind) would no longer need Him.  The scientist worked and hypothesized and experimented until finally – success.  He was able to replicate that initial spark of being, that trigger of existence, without the mystery and wonder of the Almighty.  He proclaimed to the heavens, “GOD!  Look!  I’ve done it!  I’ve created life without You!”

GOD, intrigued, said to the scientist, “Well that is interesting.  Would you mind giving a demonstration?”

The scientist, so proud of his creation, heartily agreed.  He leaned over with his instruments to begin the experiment.  “First,” he says, “you take a clump of soil—”

GOD interrupts.  “You’ll need to make your own dirt.”

In light of current events, figured might as well get back to the money;
that is, financial IQ, investment strategies, and asset knowledge
á la the book-learning of “The Truth About Money,” by Ric Edelman … where were we re?

Ah, yes.  Dirt.  Land.  Acreage. Real estate. 
Despite the claims/attempts/efforts of Dubai/China/Japan to the contrary, ain’t no more being made.  They’s just dredging the ocean floors, so that … was already there.

And every section/piece/foot/meter of real property
(as opposed to fake property, that is – personal property)
is unique, and cannot be replicated.

The dirt over here differs from the dirt over there from the dirt right next to that other dirt.  So there.

The positives of investing in dirt/real estate?  Value can go ↑ and make money/create income BUT
              – illiquid; hard to easily convert to cash, and if undesirable … nearly impossible
              – costs; maintaining (i.e., repairs, insurance, taxes) can add up quickly and devour any profits
              – strong reserves; hoard 12 months of expenses for those selfsame maintenance costs
              – high initial investment; better to pay cash than finance / borrowing to invest?  Just … no

BUT!  Real estate should still be part of investment portfolio pie … just gotta get it REIT. 
Or “Real Estate Investment Trust” (heh see what did there no? OK fine and actually pronounced “reet” but that’s not as “punny” [geddit? no? OK fine] so going with what we got) is basically similar to a partnership in real estate traded on the NYSE which allows investors/buyers/sellers to invest/buy/sell on demand.

HOWEVER … because REITs are traded they are a volatile asset, meaning logic flies out the window if the market panics and the value of a REIT can fluctuate with the whims of the herd.

So there’s that.  BUT methinks (not Edelman so please, please disregard) REITs might be a nice little slice of the investment pie, but tread lightly … that whipped cream might be rancid.

Aptly, the Elder’s home and the face-tatted monkey that is providing services to selfsame property is the source of my current gorilla chagrin, so while the real estate is an investment for Elder, the headache associated with keeping it as such has become a migraine, hopefully not an aneurysm, ‘cuz meh.

The lesson?  Good help is hard to find, particularly with contractors/handymen. 
Moral?  Choose not the face-tatted monkey.  Judge the book by its cover and just might get the whole story.

There is that.