There was … an object in the intersphere – post, article, meme, whatever – about the nightmare of modern dating, and how people who have managed to get married should probably stay there.
On the Tubes ofYou Rollo Tomassi and Aaron Clarey are big in the “manosphere,” the MGTOW (MenGoingTheirOwnWay), Incel(?), whole Red Pill thing …
I like watching because I like car accidents and plane crashes and train derailments … no kittens, tho’, and no puppies.
You kill the dog and we will never be friends.
Anywhatever these guys sum up the man experience in regards to woman with two questions:
- Is she hot?
- Is she available?
And then they complain that they only meet sociopaths.
Ha! Funny—if every relationship you’ve ever had has failed, you must look at the single factor that is universally common … which is, of course, you.
There’s also a space for “hypergamy”(wat) which seems to be women focused on getting men with the most stuff or, at a minimum, access to most stuff.
It’s an ugly, ugly scene. Ahhh to be “swiped” … as in, to be smeared and wiped at once.
Perhaps Motivation #3 should be decisive “swipe” avoidance. Ewww
The example me ‘n Half (i.e., Motivation #1) try to set for theKid (i.e., Motivation #2) to witness, analyze, and interpret is that, despite our dysfunction there is an underlying, fundamental commitment to the partnership, and an important part of that is me demonstrating to theKid the essential importance of the individual money marriage as well as marriage involving another person.
theKid has seen our battles and is now a witness to my/our/us individual efforts to eliminate debt to improve the family’s financial future. Motivation #2 is a big deal, and deserves better.
Although some obstacles cannot be overcome, such as
Infidelity – unrepentant & repeated
Abuse – violent & physical
Addiction – destructive & untreated
… generally, everything else can be resolved.
One additional lesson our marital experience is designed to show theKid is that committed partnerships impact all other areas of life; thus, of upmost importance is choosing wisely in matters involving business relationships & personal pursuits … money & sex … and that, prior to selecting another human for interaction, for whatever reason, consider the entire person – physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, as well as the financial – because the visual only provides the initial attraction … some of the most beautiful people can be unimaginably ugly.
Actively decide if this is a person who could be an actual friend, then move accordingly.
Said it before, reiterate here: I should have remained single until I was successful at adulting …
now, however, gotta learn to fly the plane while building it in mid-air …
… ‘sOK, tho’ …
… GOD has given me wings [grins stoopitly] {Luke 24:6-7}!
So debt/poor money management/financial irresponsibility does not have to be a marital deal-breaker, but the unwillingness to improve the situation … is.
I HAVE A BIG WILLY ohwait … a big willingness to improve, that is … providing theKid a good example and unified front with Half … money = Motivation #1/#2